Sesshoumaru's Class
by Sesshy Lover xD
Summary: [COMPLETED]hey, i finished with this story, im really sorry, wont post new chappies, but Check out the last chappie of Sesshoumaru's Class! FUNNY! thnxs and review!
1. Introduction

Disclaimer: I unfortunately don't own Lord Sesshoumaru or any of the other characters, I'm basically just borrowing them….xD

Okay, then. Let's start with Sesshoumaru's class. It's sometimes good for you to remind that Lord Sesshoumaru gets really annoying…er…angry when he is insulted. Besides, Lord Sesshoumaru hates to pass "human disinfectant" medicine, so make sure he is comfortable.

Lesson 1

Sesshoumaru's Class

Very well, I'm only doing this because the principal of this school pays me well. Besides, I, Lord Sesshoumaru do not have time for such trivial things such as teaching idiots how to be me. But, for the money, I, Lord Sesshoumaru will be generous at least once in a lifetime. (Wow…finally.)

My first question is: Do you really want to become an evil, good looking; strong, cool, serious guy who got his arm ripped off by his stupid little brother and that has 2 cool swords with opposite utility such as bringing the dead back to life and making those who are alive go to hell? Well, if you are smart enough, you've come to the right classroom.

If you want to know how to be me, you've got to dress and talk like me. You got to dress properly, kids! I have another question: Would you like to dress in a white kimono with delicate decorations on it or an all red dull kimono? What's that? YOU! Yeah, you in the back row! You seriously think that a red dull kimono is better than the white kimono with delicate decorations? Oh my, you really are stupid. You shouldn't be here; you should be at 'How to Be Inuyasha Class'. Just go right down the hallway and you'll see his class there. Buh-bye.

Well, where were we? (Too much Ws) Ah yes, a white kimono is much better than a red one. Seriously, if you want to be an evil, good looking; strong, cool, serious guy who got his arm ripped off by his stupid little brother and that has 2 cool swords with opposite utility such as bringing the dead back to life and making those who are alive go to hell, you seriously got to choose what you are wearing. YOU! Yes, that's right you! What are you wearing! Black does not fit in my personality. Black makes you look insane. Insanity, just like my brother. Please, follow down the hallway and you'll see a bunch of idiots taking classes from him.

Try to get a little more serious. Take off every insane, idiot, lame clothes and go shopping for God's Sake. I, Lord Sesshoumaru will not agree in seeing another person wearing jacket jeans and a black baggie pants.

AHA! I, Lord Sesshoumaru got you! You actually think you can fool me! Well, you can't, because I'm me, Lord Sesshoumaru! You think that _I_ couldn't see you taking your jacket jeans? (Turns to another boy) Do you think you can just take your baggie pants off? This is not a strip club! I, Lord Sesshoumaru, do not want to see any strips! "B-but, L-lord-d S-sesshoumaru!" What's this! Everyone who is against my rules or against anything of mine, GO AWAY and follow down the hallway where, as I said before, is the location of Inuyasha's class. NO STRIPS! NO BAGGIE PANTS! NO JEANS! NO STUPIDITY!

(More than half of the class went down the hallway, and only 5 people were left)

Very well then, I think I made myself clear. I, Lord Sesshoumaru am expecting better clothing options tomorrow…So, now that clothing section is cleared, the speaking part must be cleared too. You can't just say: "I ain't no trippin', cuz ya'll know dat…etc." if I here somebody saying those kinds of words, just go down the hallway. You should say instead: "I am not tripping, because you all now that…etc." Did I make myself clear!

Whole class: YES, SIR!

Sir? Sir? I'm _Lord _Sesshoumaru!

Whole class: YES, Si-LORD SESSHOUMARU!

Now go shopping and buy some decent clothes, or else I won't have anybody to teach and I won't get paid.

------------------NEXT DAY---------------------

Oh my! I'm very impressed! What beautiful clothing, it's even _better than mine._

Whole class: R-really?

No. I was being sarcastic. Can't you people tell the difference when you're being sarcastic or not? It's obvious that nobody can have better clothing than me, I, Lord Sesshoumaru and of course it would be _impossible_ if somebody came with a better clothing pick than me. Now stop smiling. (Students stop smiling from the just realized sarcasm.)

**And the class goes on………….**

A/N: Hey! Thnxs Sesshoumaru for everything! Sesshoumaru, I love you! Please review! I would really really appreciate it. And so would Sesshoumaru! I love him, I love him, and I love him, I … says I love him for 4563789287467229376543787 times

REVIEWWWW!REVIEW! PLZ?


	2. The Test

Disclaimer: I unfortunately don't own Lord Sesshoumaru or any of the other characters, I'm basically just borrowing them….xD

I feel sorry for Sesshoumaru at the end. You know, oh no, I forgot, you don't. You gotta read the chappie first. Lol.

Lesson 2

Sesshoumaru's Test

Class! Listen up! Today, I, Lord Sesshoumaru will show you how to get an arm ripped off. (Students stare.) WHAT? You realized that you DO want to be me don't you? And by the way, if you're blind I don't blame you, because those who have good vision must have noticed already that I'm missing an arm.

First of all: you need a stupid little brother. Second of all: your stupid little brother needs the tessaiga. Third of all: you need to—(pause)—to—(pause)—to be d-defeated, by-y (cough) your stupid little b-brother. cries Oh well, that's what makes me, so, so me! criesofjoy So, I, Lord Sesshoumaru demand you to _train_ to get your arm ripped off. Are you with me? (Sesshoumaru turns to the students and see them crying their heads-off) What is this! Crying? I, Lord Sesshoumaru don't cry!

"B-but just then, you were crying of joy remember!"

(Sesshoumaru stares. Stares hard. Very hard. Student pees in his pants.)

**Anyways,** shall we go to the gym! We shall train to fight in a FA-BULOUS WAY! (Student stares with their jaws dropping and touching the ground.) OH! FOR GOD SAKE! What is it now?

"Um…nothing, Dear Lord Sesshoumaru, we were just th-hinking about how we are supposed to train in a FA-BULOUS WAY! (The student exaggerated when he said FA-BULOUS WAY! So Sesshoumaru stares. Stares hard. Very hard. Student peeps in his pants.)

**Anyways,** let's go to the gym! (At the gym.)

"What the hell do you think ya doin' here!" (Inuyasha points at his own 50 students, but more than the half was Sesshoumaru's)

Oh my, oh my. If isn't Inuyasha. GREAT! Now my students can get their arms ripped off. smile (Students are scared. Duh. Who wouldn't be?) You see, Inuyasha is stupid and he has the tessaiga with him.

"Less talkin' more fightin' cuz my students can't wait any longer to rip your student arm off."

Oh! By the way! Good Luck! (Sesshoumaru's students are crying. Crying 'till death. Student # 1 steps in front of Inuyasha crying and says: "Will it hurt?" Cries and cries. Inuyasha put his tessaiga right in front if the student's arm.)

STOP! OH MY GOD! MY STUDENTS ARE ALL IMBECILES! RETARDED! IDIOTS! STUPID! It was all SARCASM! Of course I would not let a stupid little brother rip my arm off on purpose! OH MY GOD!

"Oh…thank goodness!"

You bunch of idiots! You just failed your first test! IDIOTS! I was just testing to see if you would fall for some bizarre trick like that and you did! YOU SERIOUSLY NEED TRAINING WITH NOTICING SARCASM! OH MY GOD! IDIOTS! (Students now cry of happiness). How could you people be such donkeys! IDIOTS! And you still believe in the FA-BULOUS WAY OF TRAINING! That's GAY! I, Lord Sesshoumaru will definitely make you stay for detention! IDIOTS!

(All of the 5 students and Sesshoumaru leave and Inuyasha say: "Wha? We are not fightin'?")

I'm so infuriated. You know why? Because unfortunately I _can't_ send you down the hallway. And you know why? Because then, I wouldn't have any students left, and then I wouldn't get paid! And in this world we all know that to survive you need food. To get food you need money. And to get money you need to work. And what am I doing here? Working! So guess what I'm going to do. YES! I'm going to give you another test. This time a _beauty test._ Are you all with me? To be me, Lord Sesshoumaru, you need, of course you need, beautiful hair. My hair is all silvery and long and beautiful. Besides, am I obese? Because you know, you wouldn't have a personality of an evil, good looking; strong, cool, serious guy who got his arm ripped off by his stupid little brother (**_by accident_**) and that has 2 cool swords with opposite utility such as bringing the dead back to life and making those who are alive go to hell. YOU! YES YOU IN THE CORNER! I bet you have weight problems. GO ON A DIET NOW! And I say it again: I, Lord Sesshoumaru, am beautiful.

Your test is due tomorrow coming through the door, looking beautiful. Oh by the way, if you want to have some pretty paintings on your face I would really appreciate it. Like I, Lord Sesshoumaru have strips on my cheeks and a moon on my forehead! I'll be waiting for you.

----------NEXT DAY---------

(Nobody came beautiful.)

What's this! I TOLD YOU TO COME LOOKING BEAUTIFUL!

"W-what? L-lord Sesshoumaru, we thought y-you were absolutely kidding, y-you know, when you said abut ripping our arms off and stuff so…!"

YOU-YOU-YOU IDIOT!

I'm a going to be poor. I'm going to be poor. I'm going to be poor.

A/N: Thanks Sesshoumaru again for making an extraordinary job! I am so pleased by the previous chappie reviews! THNX! I really DID appreciate it. REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! (Says review more than 799654 times. ) By the way, I love Sesshy.


	3. Disneyworld

* * *

Disclaimer: I unfortunately don't own Sesshoumaru or any of the other characters, I _wish_ I owned them, but as Sesshoumaru tells me, "If wishes were horses, beggars would ride."

Just to make you clear, in one of my reviews, they asked me if there was an Inuyasha's Class story. And there is. It's made by zcindy93, not by me. You can go to my reviews and you'll see her name there, click it and then you'll see Inuyasha's Class. But there's one more thing: after you read this chapter, at the end, I have a question and could you guys please answer it?

* * *

Lesson 3

Sesshoumaru is Sesshoumaru, it will never change.

I, Lord Sesshoumaru, understand that you guys are quite bored listening to my complaints and my sarcasms all day long, but just this week, I said: JUST THIS WEEK, we are going to take a break! Guess where we are going? To Disneyworld. (All the students gasps!) Just give me $1776! (Students stare and gasp) WHAT? Its easy money, easy money. (Again, students stare and gasp) Can't you people do math? Look, in order to go to Florida, we need in 4 planes and each of them costs $200. So, 200 times 4 equal 800. We are going to stay there for 4 nights, and a hotel cost 100 per night, so 400, right? To go to Disneyworld is $70 dollars each person, and since we are going to play over there everyday (4 days) it would be $280. (Wow he's smart)Now DO THE MATH!

(Takes 13 minutes and 4 seconds for the students to do the math.)

"B-but, Lord Sesshoumaru, I did the math a-and it's that -- we have to pay $1480 each person, not $1776."

Oh my dear, did I forget to tell that you guys have to pay for me too? Aww, how adorable! Well, you do, because I, Lord Sesshoumaru am already doing a favor. (Bad man!)

"B-but, Lord Sesshoumaru! How are we going to get all that money?"

Oh…I see. Well, I know what you guys can do. smiles you guys can go out in the streets and beg for money; as simple as that!

"B-but, L-lord Sesshoumaru!"

NO MORE BUTS!

"Oh…I was wish I could have the money right now…"

If wishes were horses, beggars would ride. Now you should get to work. I know it's hard for you to try and be me, but what can I say? I'm me, Lord Sesshoumaru, Mister Almighty, Mister Know-it-all, Mister GO-TO-THE-STREETS-NOW-OR-ELSE-I'LL-KILL-YOU! (All the students cry like a baby. Ooh….baby, baby, baby, baby, er….sorry.)

A student whispers: "Lord Sesshoumaru is soo mean, I wish he could be nicer."

"Yea, me too."

"Yea…_I wish…"_

Didn't you humans listen to me! I, Lord Sesshoumaru SAID: IF WISHES WERE HORSES, BEGGARS WOULD RIDE! SHEESH! STOP WITH YOUR NONSENSE AND GO OUT TO THE STREETS NOW! (Big Fat Meany!)

In the start I already asked: Do you really want to become an evil, good looking; strong, cool, serious guy who got his arm ripped off by his stupid little brother (_by accident)_and that has 2 cool swords with opposite utility such as bringing the dead back to life and making those who are alive go to hell? DO YOU REMEMBER! And you made a compromise to me! You all promised to work hard and try to be me, well, er, of course you can't be me, but...AHEM, my point is: do it now or never do it.

"Um…do what again?"

OH MY GOD! FOR GOD'S SAKE! People! Even _my dog is smarter than you_!

"Um…Lord Sesshoumaru….no offense, but you are a dog. Wait a minute. YOU ARE A DOG! Ooh…doggie, doggie, doggie….!"

"Yea, doggie, doggie, doggie…!"

(PAUSE)

(LONG PAUSE)

Yes, I, Lord Sesshoumaru, am a failure…I shall not teach, I'm nothing but an idiot who thinks his all that and got his arm ripped off even by a stupid little brother, how more pathetic could I be? I'm sorry for making such a scene. I'm useless, I'm poor, and I'm nothing but…a puppy who needs a good home and comfort. cries (Awww….)

"Oh…L-lord Sesshoumaru! T-that's so sad! Were you serious this time?"

No. Now go back to work…idiot humans…When will they learn the true lesson of Wisdom? Fools, idiots, retarded, bakas, stupid, everything that's bad is contained inside your human body and soul! What a shame! But, on the contrary, I, Lord Sesshoumaru, am beautiful, strong, almighty, cool, and all popular around the girls, even the boys too, and that can fight better than anyone…( Blah, blah, blah. Sesshoumaru continues to appreciate himself)

"I prefer Lord Sesshoumaru when he thinks his useless."

"Yea, so do I." (laughs)

GO BACK TO WORK, HUMAN IDIOTS!

* * *

A/N: So…anyone had fun? Sesshoumaru did. Oh well, here's my question: **I, the author, was thinking to end this story in this chapter **(chapter 3)** and never write it again. It'll depend on your decision. Put "YES" if you want me to continue writing, r you can simply put: "NO" if you don't want to. Be as sincere as you want plz.**

Thank you so much for reading it, and you can put the answer on the review. I LOVE SESSHOUMARU! And review and review! THNXS YOU GUYS!


	4. Bye, Sesshoumaru

Disclaimer: I do not _own _Sesshoumaru, (cries) that is so sad.

Hello! My reviewers said that I should keep on writing. I thought for a long time and came with this conclusion: this chappie (# 4) is the last chappie of Sesshoumaru's Class; where the five students are going to finish Sesshoumaru's Class. They are going to graduate from high school, Sesshy retires and etc. Have fun and thank you everybody!

* * *

Lesson 4

See you Lord Sesshoumaru!

I, Lord Sesshoumaru, had fun this year. You all learned great things about me, and _that_ is the true Lesson of Wisdom. I am proud. I, Lord Sesshoumaru hope that one day you can become a great living being that can actually do something that is worth for. I hope you learned that you are stupid and always fall for my sarcasm, so I wanted you to please; I beg you, please, do not fall for any sarcasm, unless it's mine, of course. (A student cries.) P-please…d-don't c-cry….I, Lord Sesshoumaru will miss you too!

"I-I was c-cryin' cuz I'm happy that I don't have to suffer in your hands a-anymore!"

WHAT! YOU INSOLENT FOOL! YOU IDIOT! I WILL NEVER EVER MISS YOU! AND I'M THE ONE SUFFERING BECAUSE I'M THE ONE WHO HAS TO TAKE CARE OF SUCH STUPIDS HUMANS! YOU IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIO-

"Gottcha! It was all sarcasm."

(Sesshoumaru gets all red.) Well, AHEM, I supposed you learned well, but you see, you will never ever be an evil, good looking; strong, cool, serious guy who got his arm ripped off by his stupid little brother (**_by accident_**) and that has 2 cool swords with opposite utility such as bringing the dead back to life and making those who are alive go to hell. You know why? Because that's me, and I'm me, you are not me, because the only one being capable of being me, is me. (Students are like: um….okay…A/N: I bet you are like that too.)

I, Lord Sesshoumaru am relieved that I do not have to baby sit you anymore and that you are a big boy that can take care of yourself. I am happy that I get paid every month teaching you insects how to be me. I even bought a BMW! And it's all shiny in the parking lot, yay. But it's too tiring for me to have to go trough this torture for another year, so I'm going to retire. Yes, I, Lord Sesshoumaru, am going retire. Hey, at least by retiring I get paid and I _am _a normal United States citizen and I _did_ work for more than 10 years! So there, HA! In your faces!

So, concluding this class, I, Lord Sesshoumaru wanted to see you all at the graduating party and it'll be my first and last feast with pathetic humans sharing the table with me! See you all at the graduating party. Wait, should I wear my kimono or a tuxedo?

------PARTY------

"So, you decided to show your face here, huh? And you are wearing a _kimono_. Pfft, how pathetic is that!"

Look at yourself. (Inuyasha looked at himself and he was wearing a kimono also, but he didn't understand the joke.)

(At the graduation party there were all the teachers from the high school, they were: Kikyou, Kagome, Sango, Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha, Kouga, Naraku, Kagura and Jakostu. Of course, Miroku was kicked out of the school because of inappropriate stuff… )

"I bet nobody can drink as much as I can." (Naraku shouted.)

"Well, _I_ can. Sesshoumaru, I bet $30 that you can't drink as much as _I_ can." (Inuyasha said it with a victory smile.)

Well, think again, I, Lord Sesshoumaru will absolutely **not** be ever defeated! (Sesshoumaru, Naraku and Inuyasha started drinkning like crazy, after 30 minutes…)

D.j.! Hit the song again! Whoo-hoo! I'm all POP! C'mon and dance! (Sesshoumaru is like, acting like crazy and dancing to the Eminem song.) Enenem is good! Wow, what an exciting experience!

"It's Eminem. Not Enenem. E-M-I-N-E-M".

Wha? Whatever dude. (It's obvious that Sesshoumaru is drunk.) Yahoo! Oh yea, oh yea…oh yea……huh? Wait a second; I thought I had five students, then why is there only four? Whatever dude. Um…could I ask you a question? What is the meaning of "Shake your bootay"? (Omg, that is so embarrassing.) Whoo-hoo! (The 4 students get Sesshoumaru and throw his face in the toilet.)

W-WHAT HAPPENED! Wait, I have one arm and two legs and a head. Okay, I'm alive. But wait, why was the face of Lord Sesshoumaru in the toilet! I NEED AN EXPLANATION RIGHT NOW! And what is this annoying song? (Students chuckle)

--------CONCLUSION (10 YEARS LATER) -------

Ahhh….fresh air! (Sesshoumaru bought a beach house.) I, Lord Sesshoumaru am glad that I retired 10 years ago, but I do, indeed miss my insolent fool's students…I'm going to tell you guys what happened to my students:

Student # 1: He became a Harvard University teacher and he taught 'How To Be Sesshoumaru's Disciple'

Student # 2: He became a Stanford University teacher and he taught 'How To Survive Sesshoumaru's Sarcasm.'

Student # 3: He was the creator of 'Sesshoumaru Museum' which was a BIG attraction.

Student # 4: He followed Sesshoumaru's steps and became the 'Sesshoumaru's Class' teacher in the same high school Sesshoumaru taught.

Student # 5: She **died** of shocking emotion the same day that she noticed that she had just passed 'Sesshoumaru's Class'. How sad.

And now, if you shall let me, I, Lord Sesshoumaru, will continue appreciating my memories and my sun bathing…

**The End**

* * *

A/N: Aww….I finished. (sniffs) I know, I know, it wasn't as good as the others, but you know, I just wanted to end the story in a ending way….(sniffs) I'll miss writing this soo much! But hey, every story has to end right? So ya…

Thnxs for all the help you guyzs gave me and a special thnxs to Sesshoumaru! Thank you! I had a great time! Byee! Review plz…

P.S: I was still thinking about if I would make another classes and stuff. Or maybe it's just too lame. I don't know, help me. I'm going crazy! Haha. But well, help me plz, what shall I do?


End file.
